In my previous post today I was going to tell you all about the marvellous experience of applying for a Driving License! What a palaver – off I drove (yep) to Hauppauge (yes – that is a place and it is pronounced Hop-Ogg) with the filled in form to apply for my learners permit. Oh and a means of payment – obviously! There I was in this mahoosive building surrounded by children and one of their parents. After sitting about for half an hour it was my turn to approach the counter to get my paperwork checked. The little old lady behind the counter proudly informed me that my passport had expired! There ensued some rolling of eyes and me pointing out that she was looking at the date it was issued….. “was I sure?” she asked – she possibly got “the look” at this point – I’m admitting to nothing here – and moved swiftly on to tell me all was in order and I could now have my photo taken…..
Great I thought as I stepped up to the blank screen and then she asked me a question which I was in the middle of answering when she took the photo! Let me tell you, that this was rejected by me and we did another one, which I have to say is not too hideous. At least my one is a smiley one unlike His Lordship who happens to look extremely grumpy.
If you ever meet him, do ask to see his license, you will have such a laugh!
Next thing was to trundle off round the corner in order to complete the Theory Test – well much to His Lordship’s surprise they, the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) had upgraded to computers! Rather than sitting there with paper and pencil, I had to look at a screen and answer 20 questions about driving. Most of which I have to say were about drinking and driving and the consequences thereof. In order to pass the test you must achieve a score of 14/20, which in my humble opinion is not good enough! If you can’t get 19 or 20 of the questions correct then should you be allowed behind the wheel of a two ton machine? (I’m only saying 19 or 20 because I got 19 right – so not quite up to my usual genius level on this day)………. Sample questions for you:
Which of the following is true – people driving under the influence of alcohol are:
- Not a problem in New York State
- A police enforcement problem only
- Every driver’s problem whether they drink or not
- Only a problem to those who drink
A chemical test is used to measure:
- Reaction time
- Driving Ability
- Blood Alcohol Content
If an approaching train is near enough or going fast enough to be a danger you must:
- Slow down and proceed with caution
- Not cross the tracks until the train has completely passed
- Find an alternative route to cross the tracks
- Cross the tracks at your own risk
And these are some of the trickier ones! There was a little girl taking her test just before me and she came out an proudly announced that she had passed with a mark of 15. Her dad was thrilled and wanted to know what she got wrong – she had no clue. And she will be out there now – learning to operate a car on the road with all the others. My mind is boggled!
To my joy I was now eligible to sit and watch the 5 hours of very outdated dvds about driver safety! Off I went one Saturday not too long ago armed with yet more wodges of money to enjoy this wildly informative day of boredom. I bet you didn’t know that SOME cars are now being equipped with airbags? As standard equipment and hopefully all cars will someday be equipped with driver’s airbags. Passengers will just have to carry on suffering horrible facial injuries unless extra money is paid for their very own airbag, apparently. Well, I was astounded – all this new fangled safety equipment. And also seatbelts – it turns out these are quite a good thing to have in your car. Too funny! Excuse me a minute, I must check if my vehicle has been fitted with these incredible things. Back in a sec! OK – checked – all OK I must have a very up to date machine, driver airbag, passenger airbag, curtain airbags – airbags all over the place! So I will be very well cushioned should any of the children behind the wheel of a vehicle drive into me………….
The chap who was changing the dvds was very informative – not – he gave us all a certificate at the end and said we had a year to take our practical test otherwise we would have to go back and watch the dvds again. If that isn’t an incentive, goodness knows what is. His big sales point was that the company would be able to get you a date for your practical test sooner than one you were able to get if trying to book yourself – he guaranteed that there would be nothing until after the end of December if a meer mortal was to try to book on their own. There was only one taker of the offer – some older chap who had the required means of payment (surprise) for the lessons, driving test – (covered in the cost of your learner’s permit actually) and use of the driving school car for the test…… Well guess what people, there were dates way before that – and no I am not telling you when I am doing my practical test – just in case!
Off now to prepare His Lordships evening repast …… Oh what a jolly good wifey I am.
Catch you next time with more of the fascinating insights 😳